look inside yourself - what do you see?

a child looking up to find answers. an adult looking down to give advices. ambivalent feelings (which is kind of good). darkness as well as brightness. youthful enthusiasm paired with systematic rationality. all there, somewhere. heartbeat. silliness. how do I love to be just silly sometimes, no thoughts. going with the flow. here and there, meeting new people, special people, all there. i can see them. all these different life experiences. passion, inspiration, creativity, stagnation (which I am really scared of). i see life with all its facettes. but still searching for the essence of life. not that one which you sometimes feel and you are like wow, this is great, this is what life is all about but then suddenly it's gone and you can't manifest it. i mean that essence which comes to you, becomes a part of you, which you can always rely on, that part which guides you through any kind of terrain, does that make sense to you?